If you save yourself for marriage you're a bore. If you don't save yourself for marriage you're a whore-able person. If you won't have a drink then you're a prude but they'll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one. If you can't lose the weight then you're just fat. But if you lose too much then you're on crack. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. So you might as well just do whatever you want. So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys, or kiss lots of girls if that's something you're into. When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight roll up a joint, or don't (I'm from Asheville, there's no secret what we'd do). Just follow your arrow wherever it points. Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points.

If you don't go to church, you'll go to hell. If you're the first one on the front row, you're a self righteous son of a-can't win for losing, you'll just disappoint 'em. Just 'cause you can't beat 'em, don't mean you should join 'em....